Looking Fear in the Face

I am currently in Nashville, TN attending the National Youth Workers Convention. It is a 5 day event in which many youth leaders, volunteers, and pastors come to learn more about how to reach youth. The first seminar I attended was three and a half hours long. Apart fromt the length the seminar was excellent. At one point we went around the room looking at quotes to figure out which one was most true for us. I should say that this seminar was called 'The Leadership Lab." The whole thing focuses on how to be a better leader in your youth group and in life. Needless to say the quote that hit me the hardest was this, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt.
We were then required to explain why this quote was most true for us. I said because that I've always felt like I can't be a youth pastor because I can't lead. I said I was scared to death of what I'm going to have to do. While this is true I'm going to expound on it a little bit.
For most of my high school life I was concerned with what I wanted to do, as most students are. I could never think of anything. It wasn't that I could or wanted to do so many different things, because I felt like I couldn't do anything. I've always been rather shy and reserved. These two things meant to me that I would never be in any sort of leadership position. Or if I was it was something that would take many years of ordinary work after college to be in some sort of leadership position. As I didn't know what I wanted to do though it was still difficult to see. Then, during my senior year I made the decision to become a youth pastor. And it was still some time before I realized what this meant. It meant I would be immediately put into a leadership position.
Now I have to look that fear in the face. I have to do the thing I think I cannot do. I don't have a choice. This is what God has called me to do and I am going to do it for all I am worth. Will it be any good? Absolutely. Will I fail? Definitely. Will I succeed when I'm broken? Yes. I am doing what I have been called to do and what I love to do. It's simply a matter if gritting my teeth, digging down and doing it. Will I need all the help I can get? Most definitely. Nevertheless, I will succeed and I will be the best youth pastor there is. Not because I have ideas of grandeur of what I will be. No, it will be because of what God chooses to do through me that will make me the best. and he will get all the glory for it because he is the one, the only one, who deserves it.

Losing my Life

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it." 


This quote is seen at least 5 times in the new testament. The first half of this quote - that I didn't write - tells us to take up our cross daily, so this idea goes well with the idea of being a living sacrifice. I do not want to focus on that part but I believe it will help in what I have to write.


I have a hard time of giving God every aspect of my life as I'm sure most people do. We tell God that we'll give him sports, or we'll give him food, or whatever else, but for some reason I can't seem to give him all of it. I know for me the number one thing I seem to not be albe to give him is my relationships with women, specifically they romantic ones. I don't really know why. But hopefully by the end of this I will, and I'll be able to give that aspect of my life to him.


We like to be in control of our lives and for whatever reason we think that if we give God certain aspects they will be lost to us forever. I have no problem giving soccer to him because I know he will bless that and I can then use my soccer for his purposes. However, when it comes to women I feel like if I give that to God I will never marry and I don't know why I believe this. Every thing else I have given he has blessed not taken away from me. 


That is the one of the idea's behind this verse and behind the idea of being a living sacrifice. We give our lives to God and he takes them, but does not just hold on to them for us to never have again. No. He takes our lives - when we 'lose' them, or give them to him - and blesses them and then gives them back. So in essence we are still in control of our lives. Basically if there were two people in a car, we are the driving and God is sitting in the passenger seat telling us where we need to go. Before we give our life to God it's like he's standing outside the car waiting to come. Once we give him our life we put it in his hand we just let him inspect the car, make a few adjustments, then he hops in the front seat and tells us where to go. Now, one might argue that God is that one driving, but if God were the one driving, once we surrendered our life to him we would never mess up again, we would not take any wrong turns or do anything but where God took us which would be perfect. Since that is not the case we are the ones driving.


So, if I give my significant relationships up to God he is not going to force me to dump that person, unless of course the relationship is horribly sinful. When I give me life to God for his purposes, I still get to make the decisions in my life, he just gives me direction and suggests what I ought to do. I don't know about you, but this helps me a great deal. While I am fully giving my life to Christ, he is giving it back to me to use for his purposes. That doesn't sound so bad after all does it.


Dear God, 
    I pray that you may help me in giving my life to you so that I may use it for your purposes and not my own as mine are foolish compared to your ways Lord. Please forgive me for my constant failure in this aspect of my life. But I thank you for your never ending love. 

Your grace is sufficient

I recently was talking with a good friend. We discussed different wisdoms of the Bible. One of the things we talked about for some time was the verse that says, "A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" This verse was one I have heard many times from growing up in a Christian home, but I never quite fully understood it. Now, I cannot say that I completely understand it now, but my understanding of it is substantially better than it was.

First, if you have heard this verse, you have probably only heard or studied that very last part of it, or potentially even less than that. Perhaps only, "My grace is sufficient." However, if we just look at this we miss the beauty of it. We must look at the beginning of this too. Sometimes we look at this verse and say "don't worry God's grace is sufficient, he'll take away your sin because of that." This is not at all what this is saying though. What this is saying is so much more beautiful than that. What God is saying here is that his grace is sufficient. At the beginning Paul is given a thorn in his flesh. He pleads with God to take it away, but God refuses because his grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient enough. We have no need to be perfect! WHis grace is sufficient in our sin. It's not that he will take it away from, but his grace is enough in the sin. We can still be effective with sin. This is not an excuse to sin, but rather simply to understand that God's grace is enough.

The second part of this verse is "...For my power is made perfect in weakness." This is a continuation of the last paragraph. God's power is made perfect in our weakness. If we did not have sin or faults, we would not need God, therefore in that his light shines brightest because his grace is enough to cover our sins.

As I mentioned in the beginning, I do not profess to understand his completely, but from my new understand of it I can appreciate the verse so much more. I appreciate understanding that I do not have to be a perfect person for God to use me because his grace is sufficient.

Ministry

At this point in my life my plan is to be a youth pastor at my home church, Graceland Baptist Church. I see the students there and at my school who are searching for something. They don't know where to go though. No matter where they go it only seems to be about the rules and regulations. I know in my life that is a huge difficulty. I have heard it in my church experience for as long as i have been there; Christianity is not about Rules, it's about God's love. That is the extent of it. They never show why it is that way. I have recently come to realize why it is not about the rules. Knowing why has been a major factor in why i desire to become a youth pastor. Many students do not know this because they do not have solid theology, or a correct understanding of the Bible.

First, I have adopted an ideal of how my ministry will function. I call it "Tetherball Ministry." If you have ever played tetherball you will be able to follow my next thoughts. In short, if you do not know this game, there is a ball tied to a rope that is connect to a pole that is cemented into the ground. The point is to get the ball wrapped completely around the pole. This game, if both players are good, may take some time. Here is the philosophy behind this. while what we do within the ministry may not seem like it has anything to do with Christ, it will always be tied to him! And after some time, the rope will wrap around the pole again and again, until finally the rope is completely wrapped around. 


So, in my ministry I will have will present two different things, sound Biblical theology and Historical context. obviously there will be many other things I present, but within each thing I will attempt to have these present. The reason for the first one is obvious, though the second may seem slightly more ambiguous. I am currently in a  Paul's Early Letters class. In this class we are looking at the historical context of everything. Why was Paul writing them, what was their culture like, why was this particular issue an issue, why did the understand Christ the way they did? All of these are answered when looking at the historical context and when we know that we can much better understand what it will mean to us and we truly know what the author is saying.  

I will obviously deal with current issues and ground everything solidly in the Bible. I will talk about taboo subjects like sex, homosexuality, and masturbation. I will talk about not only what I believe will help the students on their journey, but I will talk about what the students best believe will help them. In this way...

the hearts of the students will be reached.

Take it Back

"Just take it back, they're only words." These are the first words ofDisguising Mistakes with Goodbyes, by my favorite band, Emery. Have you ever tried this? The Bible calls the tongue many things. At one point the Bible calls the tongue sharper than a double edged sword. Have you ever stabbed someone with a sword and then tried to take it back? No matter how hard you try it just cannot be done. Sure the person may be able to get over it, but the damage is still there and it is very real. This is something that we must watch out for. This does not even just mean the bad things we say, but the good as well. I think the most dangerous to be I love you - much more so than i hate you. I believe this because it is one of the best things that can be said to a person. Many people, however, do not know the true meaning and use it very flippantly, resulting in injury. Once said it cannot, i repeat, cannot be taken back. It can be forgiven or overlooked or forgotten, but it cannot be taken back. words can ruin anything: a friendship, a romantic relationship, a marriage, a life, your life. so for the sake of everyone(inculding yourself), please mean every word that comes out of your mouth, and make those words have a purpose. You don't have to be good at using them as long as you mean the words you say.

New Blog

A few years back I created a blog with the intent of writing in it often. I failed. I wrote a total of four or five different posts. I decided as I am a different person that I was that I would create a new blog. Even though I have changed, I have also stayed the same. For this reason I will be reposting several of the posts from my old blogspot. One may ask, why not just keep the old blog and continue posting from it. The answer is simple, I wrote some good things on that blog but as a general rule of thumb I was not pleased with myself in who I was then, so the new blog is to put those things far from me. I cannot say that I am perfectly content with who I am now, but I have discovered much more of who I am in the few years. And to be quite honest, sometimes its just nice to have new things. As I am a poor college student this is my new thing. I will soon post my older posts and may make a few revisions on them. I cannot make a promise of this but I am going to try to share my many different musing with you at least once a month. I will attempt more than that as often as I remember. I must confess, as probably no one will read this, I do not write these  posts for you the reader. No. In fact, I write them for me. I write them because sometimes I need to get my thoughts out of my head. If I keep them in the do too much damage. I do not need anyone to hear them or anyone to listen. I just need them out. However, I will be writing as though I do have an audience. I do not want to ramble on nonsense and make it unbearable for you to read. To the reader, and to myself, this will be an adventure and I hope that you and I are both ready for it.